This is a response to the very popular, very brilliant blurb by Tina Fey: A Mother’s Prayer for Its Child. No, I don’t know why she’s using “its” and not “her” but I’m sure someone, somewhere is writing a doctoral thesis about that RIGHT NOW.
Ahhh, these brief and shining days when boobs are a source of food and not entertainment.
May he never wear Axe body spray.
Should he decide on a career in the military, please let it be First Lieutenant In Charge of Paper Clips or something that’s suitably prestigious, boring, and out of the way of anything more dangerous than a particularly pointy sharpened pencil.
May he be enough of a Momma’s Boy to call me regularly (say every half hour or so…), but not so much of one that he doesn’t know how to do his own laundry.
Should he decide to play hockey, Lord grant me the strength, serenity, and Valium to sit by the rink day after day calculating the cost of his dental bills.
When he is in middle school, may he be nice to the girls – or at least, may he be perfectly ignorable in every way if he can’t manage that. From experience, I know that it’s hard enough being a 12 year old girl without having 12 year old boys teasing you. May he just treat women well in general, because if he doesn’t, his mother is going to come down there SO HELP ME. He should also treat other men with respect. And puppies. And kitties. And just, everything. Just be nice to everything.
Should he catch a snake with his bare hands, may he keep it outdoors because honestly A SNAKE IN MY HOUSE I’M GOING TO LOSE IT.
May he never mix his neutrals. Brown shoes don’t go with black suits. They just don’t.
The Daily Whuff is where I spam you with one photo of Paulo (aka “The Whuff”) every day [previous whuffisodes can be found here]. Originally, I started doing this as a way for my mom to keep up with the dude when she went back to Vermont after helping us out with his birth and the immediate post-partum period. She’d seen him literally every day of his life, so it seemed like it would be nice to keep that going. As I started taking the photos, I also realized it’s pretty great for us as a family that we’ll be able to look back on each day of his babyhood.
Today’s photo is a special shoutout to The Whuff’s Australian fan club. My dear friend Heidi sent him this cute wee sleeper! Stripes are clearly in this season for the 0-3 month set.