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While our nation is in turmoil, let’s talk about the most unimportant thing imaginable: My hair.

(Or more aptly, that mane on top of my head.)

The mane and I are having some humidity issues up here in Vermont. To wit: I showered at noon yesterday, at midnight my hair was still damp. This does not do. This does not do at all. The whole reason I showered at noon, rather than in the evening as I’ve done my entire life, is that my hair just would not dry and I was sick of sleeping on wet pillows.

So, yes, problem #1 is clearly that I allow my mane to air-dry. I’ve always let my hair air-dry, but I’ve also never had this much hair before in my life (I grew it out from chin-length, which even when damp did not do things like “soak the back of my shirt.”). Obviously I need new strategies.

But what? Do I have to succumb to the dryer? I have two issues with that – the first, of course, being that it takes away valuable time from snorgling my infant. The second is that I have very, VERY fine hair (about as thick as that of your average five year old) and it gets all frizzed out and weird when blow-dried.

HOPE ME, INTERNERDS. What can I do to end the tyranny of damp, sticky hair?

(PS: “Get a haircut, you filthy hippie” isn’t an option. It took me two years to grow it out and I’m nothing if not totally and freakishly stubborn. If I didn’t chop it off when it was falling out by the fist-full three months post-partum, no way am I cutting it now.)